My mind had wondered again...dangerous...stupid...
I tried to re-focus. I closed my eyes and listened.
Just the normal silence, my heart beat, the steady breathing by the door, the scrape of tiny nails within the wall, the piercing scream of a woman….
I open my eyes...and the sound fades to its natural volume...miles away...
It should frighten me, make my heart skip, the way it used to, but...I feel... nothing...empty...hollow...
I can tell it's not her so why should I care. It’s just another woman...stupid enough to get caught.
But I should be glad...that scream was heard for miles. They'll follow it back to its source like fly's to shit. They always do...the fucking scum...and the others...they'll stay hidden...scared back into there cages like frightened birds.
Our hunting zone should be clear...at least for a few days...
So...I guess I should be grateful to that pathetic woman...but no...I don't even feel that...
Shit...I'm getting distracted again, got to refocus... (deep breath)...
Forcing my tired eyes wide... I bring myself back to the present...
To anyone else this room would be pitch black. For me, that little bit of light coming in through the shattered windows changes everything.
It lets me see every single corner of this black puddle of shit I used to call a home, as if every object in it were lit from within.
Now it's just another empty apartment. All the warmth it once had destroyed, like the broken glass that's scattered across the floor, reflecting the blackness back on itself. All that's left are pieces of furniture, crumpled newspapers, empty cans, torn sheets, and me... sitting very still on a torn cushion in the middle of the room.
My eye gets drawn back to the glint of the knife in my hand and my thoughts return to there original occupation...
How easy it would be...to let it slip...to let it find its way into the deep flesh of my wrist…
It wouldn't hurt.....well...maybe only at first...then the delicious numbing would spread as the warm liquid gushed down my hand and on to the floor.
God! How I remember that feeling!
I could just lay back, fall asleep and this would all be over...a nightmare finally ended.
My eyes closed again as I wallowed in this gruesome fantasy, mindlessly lifting the knife and pressing its side against the soft flesh of my inner wrist, feeling the kiss of the cold steel sending shivers through my body. It would be so easy to just turn the knife...no one would care...but as if in answer to my thoughts the sound of a growl...
My eyes snapped open...
FUCK!
My stupid fucking mind wandered again and now it could mean our lives. I wouldn't be the only one to pay for my failure and the thought tore at my center.
I secured my grip around the worn handle of the knife, ready to spill the blood of another, my own blood now forgotten.
Rocking to the balls of my feet, I moved swiftly to my position crouched behind the wall, the adrenalin making me steady, clearing my mind.
I may have been taken off guard this time, but nothing else would get past me, that was a fact.
I was pissed now and that made me even more dangerous then usual. Pissed that I had lost focus, pissed that my mind was weak, but I could feel the strength in my limbs increase with every breath, my senses clear and on full alert.
Whoever made the mistake of coming through that door would be meeting their death by my hand, and somehow that thought made me smile.
I gave the room one last scan before turning my full attention to the hallway and the source of the warning.
It was even darker then the room I was in, but I could see the one who had awoken me as clear as day. Standing at full alert in front of our barricaded door, his large head lowered as slow growls continued to escape his upturned lips, the red fur between his massive shoulders standing on end. I watched my brother with admiration, as the sound of what captured his attention reached my ears.
Someone had entered our building...
I may have been taken off guard this time, but nothing else would get past me, that was a fact.
I was pissed now and that made me even more dangerous then usual. Pissed that I had lost focus, pissed that my mind was weak, but I could feel the strength in my limbs increase with every breath, my senses clear and on full alert.
Whoever made the mistake of coming through that door would be meeting their death by my hand, and somehow that thought made me smile.
I gave the room one last scan before turning my full attention to the hallway and the source of the warning.
It was even darker then the room I was in, but I could see the one who had awoken me as clear as day. Standing at full alert in front of our barricaded door, his large head lowered as slow growls continued to escape his upturned lips, the red fur between his massive shoulders standing on end. I watched my brother with admiration, as the sound of what captured his attention reached my ears.
Someone had entered our building...
